Social Distance. It’s a term that has been around, I was surprised to learn, for over 100 years. Of course the term has gone “viral”, pardon the pun, over the last 24 months.
Given human nature’s propensity to be around others, the term perplexes me. Social distance, it appears, is an oxymoron. To be social, you need to be in a community with others. Yet, by distancing, we defeat the purpose of social.
Unfortunately I’ve noticed an undesirable side effect in Hobbs - and elsewhere - as we social distance. With extra solitary time on our hands, many of us engage in conversation with others and peer into the lives of even more folks through the screen of our phone or computer. We do this through the various forms of social media that have permeated our daily lives. And it hasn’t always been pretty. The response and outcry displayed on Social Media on any number of topics has taken the shape of modern-day stoning or lynching of individuals.
As a society, we have been steadily moving our conversations away from face to face and toward a screen and a keyboard. It seems that the utilization of Social Distance measures has accelerated this unfortunate practice. It was a researcher of body language, Albert Mehrabian, who first broke down the components of a face-to-face conversation. He found that communication is 55 percent nonverbal, 38 percent vocal and 7 percent words only. This means that typewritten text on social media platforms is communicating only 7 percent of the message that would be conveyed in a face-to-face setting. This dynamic has resulted in many conversations resorting to a string of haphazard sentences, statements, judgements and opinions well before we allow ourselves the opportunity to gain an understanding of facts that in the past lead us to a conclusion. We have handicapped our opinion and response by not having an appreciation for the 93 percent of the story that we didn’t receive. Keyboard warrior posts are often damaging and prevent progress from occurring sooner than it would through respectful dialogue.
Realizing that our message is best received in-person, face-to-face and solution based, I challenge us all to reflect and examine how we engage in conversations in a digital world. Model the best methods and work to eliminate the easy, quick witted, damaging and counterproductive tactics currently being seen in our various means of communication. Our future generations are looking to us to see how best to communicate. Quite frankly, we can do better. Our youth are more likely to develop meaningful relationship with adults when they see and hear how we interact with others in an appropriate way. It is in those meaningful relationships we are able to have meaningful conversations that grow the next generation.
So please, find the good in circumstances and make the purpose of your communication to improve circumstances. I believe that we all desire the same thing - that tomorrow should be an improvement over yesterday. By working from a vantage of progress rather than failure, we can move to a better place. That includes all conversation - whether it is virtual or in per